Sun, 07 Jun 2026 Berlin 00:15 DE / UKR / EN

Affairs in Families: How Children React to Infidelity

Psychoanalyst Wolfgang Schmidbauer explains how infidelity burdens families and can entangle children in loyalty conflicts.

Affairs in Families: How Children React to Infidelity
Photo: img.zeit.de

Affairs pose a significant burden for families, as psychoanalyst Wolfgang Schmidbauer explains in an interview. Often, such secrets remain hidden to protect the family, but when they come to light, the situation becomes complicated. Schmidbauer emphasizes that it is not the infidelity itself, but rather how couples handle it that determines whether a relationship breaks down or becomes stronger.

“It is important to show tact and not immediately involve children in the conflict,” says Schmidbauer. This can help avoid loyalty conflicts that are emotionally taxing for children. The reactions of children to affairs are often surprisingly reasonable, which can influence the dynamics within the family.

Schmidbauer points out that affairs are often perceived as a moral transgression that is difficult to cope with. However, it is not the infidelity that destroys families, but the adults’ reactions to it. An open and respectful approach can help strengthen the relationship.

The challenges associated with infidelity require a sensitive approach. Couples should be aware that their decisions affect not only themselves but also their children. A constructive dialogue can help strengthen family bonds.